When I Get Famous

When I get famous, boy, are things gonna change!

People will call me a genius that now just call me strange.

Love won’t make me look stupid, instead, I’ll be the talk of the town

‘Cause when I get famous, I’m gonna turn the world upside down

When I get famous I will never be sad or blue

My life will be like a movie, instead of a cartoon

You’re gonna think that I’m funny, and your friends are gonna think I’m cool

Cause when I get famous, I’m gonna break each and every rule

When I get famous, I’ll have everything I crave

Goodbye TV dinners, goodbye microwave

I won’t be waiting in traffic, somebody else will have to drive me around

And when I get famous, you’re going to wish that you knew me now

When I’m a household name I won’t lie awake at night

Dreaming of you with these tears in my eyes…

When I get famous, boy are things gonna change!

People will call me a genius that now just call me strange.

Love won’t make me look stupid, instead, I’ll be the talk of the town

‘Cause when I get famous, I’m gonna turn the world upside down

Star Power

I wish that I were famous

So that you would like me more

i could be much less demanding

i could be less insecure

i could get people’s attention

i could walk through every door

i could dissolve into an image

Underneath a spotlight’s blur

With star power, star power, star power.

Whenever he enters a room

You can almost hear heads turn

While the people in his presence

Either start to wilt or burn

And out along the fringes

People whisper and they squirm

Hoping that they can tempt the fates

Into giving them a turn

With star power, star power, star power.

Because everyone’s attracted to a brighter burning light

We surrender to celebrity without a flicker or a fight. Right?

It’s been there since the beginning

Since the very start of time

When it organized all matter

And called life up from the slime

It provides us with ambition

And it nurtures our designs

To lift ourselves from this cloud of dust

To the place in which it shines

Star power, star power, star power, power, power…

No Valentines

All the sad little ponies, with their heads hanging down

And their tails so low that they touch the ground

One day those ponies are going to dance in the sun

That’ll be the day that you tell me that I’m the one.

All the pretty little flowers sleeping down in the ground

They lay there so quietly they don’t make a sound

One day those flowers are going to sprout and bloom

That’ll be the day that you tell me “I love you.”

All the stars in the heavens, way up in the sky

That shine so brightly down on you and I

One day those stars are going to fall at our feet

That’ll be the day that you say that you’ll marry me.

No valentines. No souvenirs. No kisses to dry my salty tears.

Reality

It’s happening, baby

They’re killing people on TV

Everyone’s taking their clothes off

And we can watch it all for free

It’s happening, baby

They’re doing it all the time

It seems like being off-camera

Has now become the only crime

Do you know how it feels to be alive

When death is only something that you watch each night at five?

What use have we for the moon and the stars above

When you can just turn the TV on anytime that you need love?

It’s a world full of choices

And none of them are good

From the crap that’s on the TV

To the junk that’s in our food

Everyone’s watching

We’re amusing ourselves to death

We’ve all become addicted

Can’t wait to see what happens next

How do you know how it feels to be alive

When death is only something that you watch each night at five?

What use have we for the moon and the stars above

When you can just turn the TV on anytime that you need love?

It’s hard to imagine just what all of this might mean

Every time I’m watching someone, is there someone watching me?

It’s happening, baby

It’s become reality

And the saddest thing you ever saw

Is someone else’s comedy

With everyone watching

How do you know what you feel

When everything’s an act

How do you know what is real?

How do you know how it feels to be alive

When death is only something that you watch each night at five?

What use have we for the moon and the stars above

When you can just turn the TV on anytime that you need love?

And you need love.

Me and the Moon

Just me and the moon

Watching the sun going down

Now that you’re not around

Not coming back soon

It’s me and the moon

Somewhere the sun is shining

Somewhere halfway around the world

And I’ll bet that’s where I’d find you

Now that I know you’re not my girl

Just me and the moon

Watching the sun going down

Now that you’re not around

Not coming back soon

It’s me and the moon

Why did you say you’re sorry?

Why couldn’t you say you’re glad?

Then I wouldn’t have to worry

And I wouldn’t feel so bad…

Just me and the moon

Watching the sun going down

Now that you’re not around

Not coming back soon

It’s me and the moon

Some people see the future

When they look up at the stars

But the only thing I see there

Is how lonely we all are…

Just me and the moon

Watching the sun going down

Now that you’re not around

Not coming back soon

It’s me and the moon

Not the One

I send you postcards and sign them “with love”

Cherish you over all others above

But nothing gets through, I don’t speak your tongue

What’s there to do when you’re not the one?

A prince or a pauper, a king on a throne

A knight dressed in armor that cannot do wrong

If you were easy to please, I could be every one

But there’s nothing to fight for when you’re not the one

The stars are against me

There’s no way to win

I write you love songs, you wish I wrote hymns…

It may be someone taller from somewhere far away

Who will teach you the three words that I can’t make you say

It might be your neighbor, it could be anyone

It’ll never be me, I’m not the one…

The stars are against me

There’s no way to win

I write you love songs, you wish I wrote hymns…

So I send you postcards and sign them “with love”

Cherish you over all others above

But nothing gets through, I can’t speak your tongue

What’s there to do when you’re not the one?

2008 (St. Cecelia)

In 2001, my story begun, after I ran into a friend

She was passing through town, and asking around

Would I like to play some music again?

I’d been playing guitar and singing in bars

Trying to find me someplace to fit

Just like everyone else, I was sure of myself

Certain someday I’d be a hit

Help me, Saint Cecelia

Reveal to me your art

Help me plant your wisdom in my heart

In 2003 came my debut CD with every song I knew how to sing

While counting the costs, I kept my fingers crossed

Hoping for an ace or a king

But it’s hard to compete with all the stuff on the street

Especially when the money’s your own

After a couple of weeks, the record had peaked

Not long after that it was gone

Help me, Saint Cecelia

Guide me on my way

Make me your disciple and show me the way

If you don’t know what you’re doing, you’ll be taken for a ride

And they’ll lead you into ruin and financial suicide…

In 2005 I was barely alive and not a single record had sold

I was just about broke and seemed like a joke

That I thought I would make more than I owed

Out of frustration I went seeking sedation

Doing myself more damage than good

My friends would all say that you can’t live this way

And secretly they doubted I would

Help me, Saint Cecelia

Be my second skin

Help me rise above this mess I’m in

In 2008, they were digging my grave

And selling off whatever was left

A crappy old car, a couple guitars,

Some copyrights and lots of bad debts

And the friends that I’d known all chipped in for a stone

That stands six feet above my head

Just like a song, you’re there then you’re gone

Just a memory in somebody’s head

Help me St. Cecelia,

Be with me this day

Welcome me with mercy and with grace

All For You

I built myself a great big house

With flowers all around

When you said you weren’t coming I burned it to the ground

I made a cake of sugar and spice

And set it on a tray

When you said you weren’t hungry I threw it all away

Aren’t you sorry now? Aren’t you sorry now?

You could have had anything that you wanted

Aren’t you sorry now?

I had stacks of paper money

Bullion, bonds and jewels

When you said that love was priceless who were you trying to fool?

I bought a car your favorite color

To drive around the world

When you told me not to bother, that’s when I lost my nerve

Aren’t you sorry now? Aren’t you sorry now?

You could have had anything that you wanted

Aren’t you sorry now?

I had a dress made out of satin

Tailored to your size

When you said it didn’t fit you - I know that that was a lie

Bought a ring for your sweet finger

Engraved on every side

When you said you lost it swimming, that’s when I lost my pride

Aren’t you sorry now? Aren’t you sorry now?

You could have had anything that you wanted

Aren’t you sorry now?

I did it all, did it all, for you.

When I Get to Heaven

When I get to heaven

I’ll tell the angels about you

How you made me lonesome

How you made me blue

How you won my heart

And charmed me through and through

When I get to heaven

I’ll tell the angels about you

When I get to heaven

I won’t be feeling any pain

I’ll no longer feel sad

Every time I hear your name

I’ll have no regrets

And I’ll never feel ashamed

When I get to heaven

I won’t be feeling any pain

Heaven - that’s nothing new.

I already know about heaven from the time I spent with you

How I pined for you for years

How I nearly drowned in tears

How I wanted you to know

How I really loved you so

But it’s over now

It doesn’t matter anymore

When I get to heaven

I’ll make everybody blue

When I tell them the sad story

Concerning me and you

You can look up at the sky

And see that every word is true

‘Cause when I get to heaven

I’ll make everybody blue

Heaven - that’s nothing new

I already know about heaven from the time I spent with you

The Band Inside My Head

Welcome strangers and welcome friends to the band inside my head

We enjoy a following that would shame the Grateful Dead

Our latest record just went gold, both here and overseas

I just made so much money I can live a life of ease

You’re in the band, you’re in the band

You’re in the band inside my head.

Tonight the band inside my head plays another sold-out show

To a crowd of famous people, every one of which I know.

Inside the band inside my head I play a great big solo here –

The audience leaps to their feet and the pretty women cheer!

You’re in the band, you’re in the band

You’re in the band inside my head.

(Great big solo…)

Inside the band inside my head the drummer has just been fired.

He said he wants to sing some songs.

Well, if that’s what he wants, he can join a choir!

I supervise the new box set, called “The Very Best… Of Me!”

Which - depending on how I feel - may or may never be released.

You’re in the band, you’re in the band

You’re in the band inside my head.

Ode to the Lonely Broken-Hearted Might-Have-Beens

Welcome strangers and welcome friends,

Welcome to talent night again

Where everyone is trying to make the team

Some will make you shout and laugh

Some will cut your heart in half

And some of them will sleepwalk through their dreams

Singing the ode to the lonely broken-hearted might-have-beens

They just shuffle round backstage,

Talking about the Union wage,

And who they think deserves to get the breaks

You just sit there all alone, hoping that things don’t go wrong

When they push you out upon the stage

To sing the ode to the lonely broken-hearted might-have-beens

Who travel so far and try so hard, and never seem to win

It’s a sin that nobody knows their names.

Come tomorrow they’ll be gone - you’re the ones who will linger on

So why don’t you play their favorite song?

It’s the ode to the lonely broken-hearted might-have-beens.

You search the crowd for friendly eyes

While the night gets long and your throat gets dry

But no one seems to hear a thing you say

You dive into another song, even though it all feels wrong

It’ll soon be over, anyway…

You sing the ode to the lonely broken-hearted might-have-beens

Who travel so far and try so hard, and never seem to win

It’s a sin that nobody knows their names.

Come tomorrow they’ll be gone - you’re the ones who will linger on,

So why don’t you play their favorite song?

It’s the ode to the lonely broken-hearted might-have-beens.

As you shuffle off backstage, maybe we’ll call you back, they say,

If someone’s ever sick, or in a pinch.

It’s just you and your guitar, as you climb into the car

Sharing your dreams of glory with the wind

Singing the ode to the lonely broken-hearted might-have-beens.